


Invader Investigators Backstory

by nameofthisuser



Series: Invaders Investigators AU [2]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcohol Poisoning, Happy Ending, Suicide Attempt, Trans Male Character, Vomiting, trans dib
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22315246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nameofthisuser/pseuds/nameofthisuser
Summary: dib and zim are now paranormal investigators, living together in an RV, but howd they get there? let's find out!from my tumblr ask blog invaderinvestigators
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Series: Invaders Investigators AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1783222
Comments: 11
Kudos: 93





	1. The Bridge

**Author's Note:**

> link to blog: http://bit.ly/37bIgZO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib is Zim’s enemy so only he can kill him. No exceptions.

Dib waited for the car to rush by, trying to make it seem as though he wasn't going to stop as soon as it was far enough away. He peers river rushed below, high rise from the rain earlier that day. He inhales deeply through his nose, holds it, steps up on the wooden railing of the bridge. It was deep in the woods, not many come through here. That car most likely had a body in the trunk.

Dib finally exhales. He studies his own shoes. They hanging over the ledge. He curled his toes. A voice in his head told him he could keep marching down that overgrown path. He could live in a cave, far away from everyone and everything; become a cryptid in his own right, but no. He knew that when Gaz found the video recording, since Membrane was never home, she would make he knew, and he would find him, no matter where he went. It's not like it would be the first time to try and run away. His self-proclaimed "Dad" always found him somehow. Dib bitterly hoped Membrane would be the one to find him this time, too.

The  _ tpt  _ of of a water droplet hit the top of his shoe. He rubbed the tears off his cheeks with sleeve and took another shaky breath.

_ This is it. _

Dib clenched his eyes closed and lifted one foot and hovered it over the open air, then shifts his weight to the unsupported leg.

He barely felt the wind before stopping mid air suddenly, caught by his jacket. His first assumption was the it must have snagged on a corner or tail, and tried to swivel to resolve the problem, but cold metal rod pressing to the back of his neck and head makes him fold his arms in frustration.

"I'm not in the mood for this right now, Zim."

The river moved farther away as Zim very unceremoniously tosses Dib back onto the bridge like a paper all over his shoulder.

"TELL ME WHO?!" Zim screeches, jabbing a sharp finger between Dib's eyes. Dib slaps his hand hand away and stands up.

"Who what? What are you-" Dib stands and starts dusting the dirt off of himself. Zim interrupts, "WHO HAS PUSH  _ MY  _ NEMESIS OVER THIS INFERIOR URTH BRIDGE?" 

"Zim-"

"WHO?!"

"TELL ME?!"

Dib glares at him, waiting to see if he could finally get a word in. He finally manages to ask, "Why do you care?"

Zim jumps on Dib, clinging to his collar and jamming his feet into his stomach. Dib covered his ears He loudly proclaimed, "YOU ARE  **_MY_ ** NEMESIS! ZIM'S! NO ONE ELSE IS ALLOWED TO DESTROY YOU BUT ME!"

Dib shoves his palm into Zim's face and forces him to the ground, hissing, "GET off."

"ZIM WILL ELIMINATE THE DUMB-STINK WHO THOUGHT HE COULD INTERFER WITH  **_MY_ ** NEMESIS!" He exclaims.

"Zim, nobody-"

"TELL MEEEEE."

Dib lifts his glasses to rub his nose, "Nobody!"

Zim places his hands on his hips and demands, "Then  **_why_ ** had the Dib-beast almost plummeted to your doom in the acid river?"

Dib scratches the scabs on his skinny biceps and averts his eyes. For a beat neither says anything, before Dib deflects with, "None of your business…"

Zim kicks Dib's shin and screams, 'TELL ME!"

Dib grabs his injury, hopping, and snaps, "What the hell! I'll punt you, you little-" 

"TELL ZIM!" He commands, jumping on Dib's back and trying to force him down to Zim's standing eye level. Dib grabbed him by his shoulder pad and throws Zim to the ground and screams, " **_I JUMPED, OKAY?"_ **

Zim blinks and and an antenna twitches, but he makes no motion to get up. Dib slumps to his knees, tears abruptly falling despite all his efforts and squeaks out, "I jumped, okay?" He attempts to punch him, but the pent waterworks blurred his vision and he slams his fist to the gravel beside Zim's head.

"Everyone's lives would be better without me. I'm a joke to our schoolmated. I'm an embarrassment to Gaz. I'm a goddamn, stupid, botched clone of my disappointed dad." He wept, "I was a mistake. I'm just- I just… I can't do this anymore. I don't even know why I'm trying."

Zim stands up and slaps his hands onto Dib's face. He tells him, "ONLY I CAN KILL MY NEMESIS." Dib pulls back to covers his ears because of the yelling so close to his face. Dib growled, and opened his mouth the yell back, but snaps his jaw shut when Zim steps between his legs.

He repeats, jabbing a finger into his chest, "Only I can kill my enemy. That includes you in those who cannot, understand?"

Dib attempted to argue, but Zim covered his mouth with his hand. He continues, "It is my duty to make you as miserable, and if making you want to live will make you miserable, I will give you everything you could ever want!"

Dib snatches his wrist and tries to explain, "That makes less than zero-" Zim slams his other hand over Dib's mouth, and plots, "And when life is good and you want to live? ZIM WILL BE THE ONE TO THROW YOU INTO THE ACID RIVER!" He cackles maniacally.

Dib grabs his other wrist and states, "That seems like a lot of extra work. Just throw me in now!"

Zim screeches, " **SILENCE! DO NOT QUESTION ZIM!"**

Dib shoves Zim out of his personal space and stands up, saying, "Whatever. I'm going home. This is pathetic, anyway."

Zim grabbed Dib's fingers, since his own hand was too small to actually grab Dib's properly, and declares, "Excellent! I will walk you home!" Dib lifts his arm and Zim dangles.

He asks, "What do you think you're doing?"

"The disgusting human affection that is 'hand holding'. You are human, you should know this, Dib-stink."

Dib glares at him, and Zim stares back blankly. His heaves a rattling sigh and wipes whatever remaining wetness was still on his face, and drops Zim to the ground. He tries to yank his hand free. Instead he slams Zim face first into the ground, who still gripped his fingers like they had melted together.

Dib hesitantly lifts him back to his feet and requests, "Zim, you're stupid scheme to 'make me unhappy by making me happy' or whatever is more idiotic than usual. Let me go."

Zim pulls Dib forward, forcing him to start walking, lest he be dragged instead. Zim announces, "None of Zim's ideas are stupid or idiotic, you stupid and idiotic human! The Dib will simply be tortured by my bringing of the joy!"

Dib opens his mouth to argue more, but concludes there was no point. This was Zim, after all. So he grumpily walked beside him, praying that they didn't run into anyone they know.

Zim finally released Dib when he was on his doorstep.

Dib mumbled, "Great. Thanks. Go away." And tried to slam the door in his face. Zim used his body as a block, climbing up it to me Dib's face. Zim boops his nose and informs him, "You  _ Will  _ be meeting Zim for one of your  _ pathetic,  _ inferior love-pig courting group… thingies... Tomorrow! If you do now show up at 7pm, I will crawl into your recharging chambers and drag you out!"

"Not a chance." Dib responds bluntly, before lifting his leg and giving a hefty kick to Zim's torso, launching him backwards. Dib leans out the door, "It wasn't a punt but it's close enough!"

He slams the door shut and quickly locks. Over the years Dib had added five additional locks to keep Zim out. His dad didn't notice. Gaz didn't bother with them, calling Dib "paranoid." He leaned into the nearest window, watching Zim brush himself off and turn around, leaving.

"So you got a date tomorrow? What happened to the incel plan?" Gaz comments from the couch, not turning from her game, "Nevermind, I don't care." Dib crinkles his nose, "I'd rather jump over a bridge than date  _ Zim. _ "

"Well, start jumping, then." She says. Dib watches her play. She makes three enemies explode at one. Someone curses her out and she grins wickedly. He remembers something, and asks her. You haven't gone in the kitchen, have you?"

"No, I've been to busy carrying this TEAM OF DUMBASSES!" She tosses her controller on the couch as  _ you lose  _ faded on screen, "Why? Did you booby trap it or something?"

"No, nevermind. Don't worry about it." Dib dismisses.

"Wasn't going to, anyway, weirdo."

As Dib enters the kitchen, a hologram of himself from earlier this week beams from a small device on the table. It speaks, "Gaz, since I know it'll be you who finds this-" Dib covers his hand over the light in the base and holds down a button to shut off the recording.

Gaz shouts, "What do you want now?!" Dib flinches, but opens the fridge and calls back, "Soda?"

"Yeah, sure!"


	2. Zombie Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zim kidnaps Dib to take him to the movies

Dib corked the bottle of half a bottle of vodka. He was tipsy enough that he was no longer thinking, which was very,  _ very  _ good. He stashed the alcohol in a false bottom of his dresser, next to his holographic message, snatches a cryptid magazine, and did his best not to wobble as he made his way to the living room.

He sat on his couch, ignoring Gaz as she cussed and made threats at the television. She made no comment as her victory sprawled onto the screen.

"You're late for your date with Zim." She stated abruptly, kicking his leg. He tosses the magazine at her, which is as effective as one would think in harming her.

"I'm not going on a fucking date with Zim!" Dib snapped back.

Gaz cracks an eye open and glances over Dib's shoulder. Before Dib can even attempt to look, too, a metal spider leg hooks under his shirt and hoists him off his feet. Gaz unlocks the front door and smugly grins, "Have fun on your  _ date _ ." Dib hears her bolt the door with every single lock before Zim plunks him on the sidewalk. So much for his buzz.

"Whhhhhhy?" Dib growled.

Zim flicks his wrist. " **A mighty Irken always keep their promises!** Now come, Gir has retrieved for us to cinema slips for-" He pulls out a couple of tickets from his PAK, "Zombies 2: Now with More Zombies."

Dib pauses, "Wait, really? I actually-"

Dib shakes his head. The world continued to spin after he stops. He wasn't going to humour Zim. He was practically kidnapping him, even if it was one of the most anticipated movies of the summer…

"No." Dib snapped, "No! Zim, I don't know if you're planning on, like, exploding the theatre with me in it or whatever, but I'm not falling for it. Go… do whatever you do when you aren't trying to take over the world!" Dib tries to wave him off.

Zim stomps, comparable to a toddler, "I can't!"

Dib tries to march away, yelling over his shoulder, "I don't care!" He debated if he was mentally clear enough to scale his wall again to climb through his bedroom window.

Tiny gloved hands grab the hem of Dib's long coat and yank him back, toppling them both over.

Dib shoves his elbow into the first part of Zim he can come in contact with, his forehead. Zim kicks Dib in the ribs as a retort. He then slaps the movie tickets into Dib's face, shouting, "YOU WILL COME!"

Dib grabs his wrist in one hand and lifts his glasses to pinches his nose with the other, asking, "Will you leave me alone after?"

"Eeeeeh. Yes?" Zim answered, standing up. Dib didn't buy it for a second but sighed overly dramatically and relents, "FINE, I'll go." He expected a maniacal laugh or some triumph screeching, but Zim bows down to be uncomfortably close and calmly replies, "Of course. Who doesn't want to see the movies with Zim?" Dib's hand was the same size as Zim's face as effortlessly covered it to push him away. He helps himself up and dislodges a sharp rock from his rear, muttering, "let's just get this over with."

Zim reaches for Dib's hand, which is easily lifted out of his reach. Dib snaps, "Don't push it." Zim stomps again, point at him, "Hold Zim's hand!" Dib stares down at Zim like one might look down upon a beginning artist giving their piece for the price of Monalisa. Bewildered and pitying.

"No, fuck you," Dib says.

He spins on his heel and starts walking away. Zim springs on Dib's back and digs his claws into the coat, "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?"

"The movies, you cockroach," Dib growled. Zim pauses, "Oh." He crawls on Dib's shoulders and proclaims, "You may carry on!" Dib grabs his arm, plucks him off and drops him on the ground, stating firmly, "We're not doing that." Zim groans loudly, prompting Dib to turn and speedwalk away. He hears Zim spit, "Geh?" Before scurrying up to catch up beside him. Zim stomps and clenches his fists. Dib ignores him at much as possibly could. Zim's random grunts and groans did not make it easy. Not that he made  _ anything  _ easy.

To his relief, Dib doesn't see anyone he knew at the theatre, and with the giant line, it was easy to hide. Dib tried his hardest to appear as though he wasn't standing next to Zim.

"Why must the GREAT ZIM wait in such a disorganized huddle with  _ smelly humans."  _ Zim tugs on Dib's pant leg. Dib shakes him off and groans, "Because everyone else was here first and will probably punch you if you try to cut. So if you want to go in front of people, be my guest. Let me just pull out my phone to record it."

Zim pulls out some sort of ray, which Dib promptly snaps, "NO. Put that away!"

"It will only harmlessly paralyze for a few minutes" Zim grinned mischievously. Dib rips it from his hand and stuffs into his jacket, hissing, "I  _ don't care!"  _ Zim flails his arms, "Give back my gun!"

A few people give them a mixture of weary of concerned looks, so Dib says, "You can get your toy back when you learn how to behave."

Zim growls and glares at him, mumbling, "Zim knows how to behave…"

"Do you?" Dib asks, "Because it seems like you're behaving like a toddler." Zim opens his mouth, then snaps it shut. He stamps and crosses his arms. Dib rubs his nose, trying to massage his growing headache.

It took way too long to reach the front of the line. Since Zim somehow already obtained the tickets, they walked directly into the building. The single ticket taker had glassy eyes and was sweaty. 

"TAKE ZIM'S PAPER THINGIES!"

He takes the tickets without even looking at them. Dib uncomfortably shuffled away from his thousand-yard stare. Noticing this, Zim scuttles after him.

The theatre was already mostly full. Dib found a seat that was completely surrounded and smugly assumed Zim would have sat somewhere else. Zim stares down the woman next to Dib, who was chatting cheerfully with her friend until she hesitantly turned to him and asks, "Can I...help you?"

"Move," Zim demands. Dib rubs his nose again and sighs heavily. The poor woman wonders, "I'm...sorry?"

"MOVE!"

The woman springs up in shock and curses him out, which Zim ignores her, hops into her seat and folds his hands in his lap. Dib leans away from him, groaning, edging on the personal space of the man on the other side of him, who whispers to him, "Man, I get it. Babysitting spoiled brats suck." Dib snorts, "You can't imagine the half of it."

Zim stands, smacks Dib's arm and commands, "Pay attention to me!" Dib whines, "Whaaaat?"

The room goes dark and Dib proclaims, "Ha! The previews are starting! Shut up!" Zim opens his mouth but Dib holds out a finger and hushes him with "Bzzt!"

"Di-"

"Bzzzt!"

Zim flops back down, grumbling something about "smelly" and "Sitting in something sticky and wet"

Dib exhaled. Three and a half hours of this. He's done worse.

***

Dib clenched his armrests until his knuckles turned white. The movie wasn't scary in the slightest. It looked like a first grade played compared to  _ real  _ zombies. But  _ Zim.  _ Zim wouldn't stop chittering, murmuring and grumbling.

Dib grinds his teeth as Zim paws at him. He pulls Dib's coat and Dib prepares to bonk him on the head. But stops when he notices Zim, curled into a fetal position, trembling, and pulling the tail his jacket over his head and covering his. Dib exhaled.

He awkwardly pats Zim's head, who peers at him, wide-eyed and quivering, from under the fabric. Someone screams on-screen and Zim jumps out of his skin. Dib pulls the tail back over his eyes and covers one of his antennas through the fabric. He reaches out covers his other Antenna. When a zombie's inside explode and the camera zooms in on shredded, spilled guts, the entire crowd eeeeew's. Did feels is antenna twitches and peeks. The disembowelled zombie grabs the token hot main character and digs it's rotten teeth into his shoulder, biting it off like a rare steak and scratching his bare abs. Screams erupt in the theatre, though most were disappointed teenage girls bellowing,  **_"NOO!"_ **

Zim shrieked in pure terror and launches at Dib's torso, lifting his shirt and cowering behind it, into his bare stomach. Dib blinks, half in shock, half prepared for alien claws to dig into his waist. Zim doesn't dig in at all, however. He assumes the fetal position again, this time his forehead pressed to Dib's diaphragm, sitting on his lap. He can feel dampness touch his skin from wear Zim's eyes touching. Dib comes to the conclusion that he'd rather not know where Zim will burrow in fear next.

He stands, holding Zim like a pregnant belly, and shimmies past the viewers to make his way back to the lobby. Dib wonders how to calm Zim down.

Just because he can't have an alien  _ vibrating _ under his shirt for the next week, of course.

He decides that comfort food, specifically the ice cream shop next door, is the most immediate solution available.

Dib caught the women behind the counter furrowing her brows her him as he entered before donning her customer service face.

"Hiya! What can I get for you?" She asks.

"Two single scoop cones. Strawberry ripple and uuuuh…" Dib peers through the collar of his shirt, "What ice cream flavour do you want?"

"Ghk." Zim presses his face into Dib's stomach. Dib quickly scans the selection before slowly answering, "Um… chocolate...I guess?"

The employee glances at the bulge that was Zim before beaming, "That'll be $4.10!" Dib quickly pays while the arm that is holding Zim starts to ache.

"Coming right up!"

Dib looks back into his shirt and tells Zim, "my arms are getting tired so if you don't move I  _ will _ drop you."

Zim is extremely reluctant to crawl out, so once his feet are out, Dib just drops him. Zim immediately and frantically wipes his eyes. Had he… been crying…? Dib stares, "It's just a movie, Zim. It's not real."

The employee grins widely as she hands a cone to Dib, and is able to maintain her grin as she nearly bends herself in half over the counter to try and hand it to Zim. He stares at it dubiously. Dib whispers, "Just take it, dude."

The employee's face immediately drops into an expression that could only be described as "I've considered shoving my head into the ice cream tubs, be it to eat it all or suffocate, either was good."

Dib herds Zim into the farthest booth away from the worker. Zim asks, "What is this?"

"Ice cream cone. Sugar in carbs." Dib answers. Zim looks the treat over, then scans the area again."

"Relax, there's no zombies." Dib says, "And the only person to successfully raise the dead in the past few centuries was me, and trust me, never again."

Zim demands, "THEN _HOW_ WERE THERE ZOMBIES FILMED? HUH? EXPLAIN THAT? HUH? HUUUH?!" Dib expects him to continue, but when the silence spans a suitable amount, he pulls out his phone and explains, "humans in makeup."

Zim rolls his eyes, "That doesn't make sense. Humans wear make to fruitlessly make themselves less ugly." Dib presents Zim with a video titled  _ scary professional zombie makeup tutorial for funny pranks like and subscribe  _ and tells Zim, "I paid for it, eat your ice cream."

Zim hesitantly licks the top of the frozen treat, smacks his lip, and resumes watching the video. Dib was surprised to see Zim quiet for more than three seconds.

"Fascinating." Zim comments as the video concludes, "Why would anyone make their face  _ more  _ revolting? Don't humans have the simple instinct to avoid the dead?" Dib shrugs, "Fun. And of course we do, dead bodies are riddled with diseases, but it's just makeup. The wearer isn't actually dead."

Dib adds, "additionally, if they  _ were  _ as dead as they were trying to look, they're skin would be… well, the consistency of the school lunch food, y'know, where it's technically solid but better described as liquid?" Zim recoils, "BLUUUAGH!"

"Heh heh, yeah." Dib muses, "That's why I bring packed lunches now."

Dib bite into his ice cream like the unhinged monster he is, watching Zim, who was still occasionally shivering and letting the dessert meltdown his hand.

"Zim, you're wasting it." Dib points out. Zim stares blankly at the droplets hitting the table. Dib furrows his brows. He entertains the idea of kicking him to regain Zim's attention. He opts for instead just nudging his foot, effectively removing Zim from his weird ice cream drip trance.

"Wha-?" Zim's head spins to Dib.

"You're being quiet." Dib comments, "What are you scheming."

"I do not scheme." Zim proclaims, which earns a cold glare from Dib. Zim corrects, "I am not currently scheming."

Dib raises an eyebrow, expecting the iddy biddy alien to suddenly leap into the table and loudly and accidentally announce his next plan before telling Dib he'll never know the plan before it's too late. But there is no frivolous display of stupid evil, just Zim slumping his shoulders to his chin and an eerily calm voice, "I will not scheme again."

Dib waits for the  _ SIKE.  _ Zim's ice cream is more puddle than food at this point.

Zim faces Dib and asks, "Why?"

"Why what?" Dib wonders. Zim stares down his soup-in-a-cone. He clarifies, "Why would you attempt self-termination. You are not programmed with a purpose, therefore cannot fail it."

Dib sighs, rubbing his nose for the countless time today, but now it wasn't from a headache. He stands and grabs some napkins from a nearby dispenser and begins wiping up Zim's mess.

"Zim, it's not just…" He tries, "Sometimes humans." The napkins don't really clean up the mess, instead of sticking to the table in pulpy clumps. He decides he tried and sits back down, hands on his forehead to avoid eye contact with Zim.

"Zim, just because humans don't have mechanical bits to program into a purpose, doesn't mean people don't have purposes. We just call it 'destiny'." Dib explains, "and my 'destiny' was to be just like my dad and take over the Membrane scientific empire, but I just… something got fucked up;  _ I'm _ fucked up, and I just never got the brains or willpower to do that. Understand?" Dib was met with the most confused face he has ever seen on anyone, prompting him to blurt out, "What?"

"Dib-human, you are the only inferior life form I have seen that actually possess this so-called 'brain and willpower'. You are, of course, below even the lowest ranking Irken, but Zim must say from experience that you are more intelligent than a sizeable chunk of even my own, superior, species."

"Wow, I think that was almost a compliment." Dib deadpans. Zim scowls, and for just a second Dib thinks Zim may have actually been trying to do just that.

"Regardless of what you think, Zim, I just could never figure out... "Dib rubs his face

"Simple things, like bonding with others." Dib laughs dryly, "You've watched me more than other humans, right? Would you have guessed that humans are an extremely social species? To the point where if our infants aren't held enough they stop growing die, even if every other need is met?"

"I can't figure out how to talk to people without creeping them out, and trying also creeps them out, but it's so instinctive and natural for everyone else. So easy. They have family, friends, lovers, and I… can't understand why I can't. I'm so stupid that I can't make friends."

Zim stands on the table, his PAK flashing, and the worker is quick to tell him, "Kid, you can't stand on the furniture!" Dib curses at Zim, grabs him by the waist and sits him down beside him. Dib hisses, "What are you trying to do?"

"Zim needed to be closer to administer physical affection."

" **_What._ ** "

Zim does his best to wrap his arms around Dib's lanky torso, resting his cheek against his shoulder. Dib remains stiff and idle.

Zim releases Dib and inquires, "Does that help?"

Dib blinked in shocked bewilderment, "I, uh. What is happening? This is another, like, hologram life isn't it? An experiment."

"No, Zim would not allow such a mess to be in any of my perfect holograms." Zim states matter-of-a-factly. 

Dib bluntly asks, "Then what the fuck is happening, because there is no way this is real."

Zim glares, but then smiles and leans on his elbow, grinning, "Of course, spending time with such a perfect being must feel like a dream." Dib feels his eyes twitch. He places his hands on the table and forces himself up, "Okay. I'm done with you. I'm leaving."

"Zim will walk you home!" Zim announces, grabbing for Dib's hand. Dib doesn't even respond, he just turns and jogs away.

Down the road, Zim catches up and snags Dib's hand.

He stops in his tracks while Zim continues, and they both fall face-first into the concrete sidewalk.

Zim rubs his face, then informs Dib, "Your dumb sniffing organ is all crooked and bleeding." Dib grabs it and twists his nose back into place with a loud  **_CRUNCH._ ** Zim flinches, knowing very well that humans weren't supposed to crunch.

He shoots Zim a look that suggest gruesome 

murder and Zim feebly whimpers, "Sorry."

Dib blinks, not responding, put into a state of shock from the apology. He helps himself up and attempts to walk away, but Zim runs after him and grabs his fingers. Dib doesn't acknowledge it.

At Dib's front door, Zim releases him and nods proudly, like everything had gone accordingly. Dib eyes him down, before monotonously telling him, "Bye."

Dib stood behind the door. His head felt full, like the pressure inside was going to make his head pop like a balloon. He'd rather not think about it, he decided.

Gaz hadn't moved from her spot on the couch, and as Dib moped past, she asks, "How was your date?"

Dib pauses to squint at her, before declaring, "Well, I'm thinking about killing myself." She nods, "Just don't make a mess." Dib rolls his eyes and heads to room. That bottle of vodka was waiting to help him not think about it, or anything else.


	3. Party in a closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib sneaks into a part, gets felt up, and almost dies! again! this time by accident!

The music was loud and bad; an amateur remix mash-up of two songs that fit like a cube in a round hole. Dib held a red solo cup of some sort of alcoholic drink. He didn't know what it, and didn't care.

Zim was here, _somewhere._ He had allowed him in but Dib had managed to hide in the crowd. Dib was actively avoided him, ironically, after years of stalking his every move. Large displays of their fights were not out of the norm, but with Zim now demanding his attention, loudly and usually standing on tables to on equal grounds, people had begun to whisper and spread rumours. Dib has heard several people quietly speak of how they thought he and Zim had some sort of bitter break up. They were constantly at each other's throats, but sure, Dib stabbing Zim with a plastic butter knife was just foreplay. He'll roll with it. Feigning a heartbreak is what makes his peers think he's on some level of normal, and he can use both that, and their empathy, to get Zim off his back.

He takes a large gulp and surveyed the group of sweaty, drunk teens. A flash of all-too-familiar green skin catches his eye and Dib quickly hurries to the next room. It was the living room, and it was even busier than… he could have sworn he was just in a living room? He squints at his drink but disregards it.

He spies a girl with a lot of hair and a lot of piercings, double fisting drinks. A bottle of rum in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other. She had a friend who seemed to be pouring some concoction of juices into a keg.

"Bet you twenty bucks I can chug that entire bottle of vodka, no chaser." Dib said to the hair girl. Her friend cringed at Dib's presence, "Ew, go away, freak!"

"No, make it forty and you gotta deal." The hair girl grinned. She had dead, grey eyes.

"Lilith, this guy's a lunatic." Her friend argues.

Dib grins, "It's a deal."

Lilith hands him the bottle, he twists the cap off, tilts his head back. His throat felt like it was getting freezer burn, but his overwhelming need to silence his own brain won. With a pained shriek as he pulled the empty bottle from his lips.

"Hot damn!" Lilith exclaimed with delighted shock. Her friend sighed and shook her head.

Dib glanced over at the doorway he came through and spots Zim, shoving his way in and frantically looking around.

Lilith's friend snorts, "Isn't that your ex, nutcase?"

Dib responds, "I think I need more alcohol."

"I know somewhere we won't be bothered by him." Lilith grabs Dib's cost sleeve and pulls him away. Her friend buries her face in her hands.

Lilith guides him upstairs and into a purple bedroom with a threesome already developing on the bed. Dib was already planning a quick escape, as he wasn't sure what she was planning but Dib was definitely not ready to join  _ that _ .

Did the have pudding cups? Is that pudding?

"wus…"He whispers to Lilith, already losing control of his tongue, "wussa puddin' for?"

She laughs and tugs him into the closet, shutting the door behind him.

"It's dar… dark in hur… here." Dib slurred, "can't see. A thing."

"Yeah, you look better like this."

Dib frowns.

He quickly forgave her when she took his wrist and brought it to her breast. Lilith says, "So I don't have that $40, but how's this instead?"

"Iss okay. Boobie." Did gargles.

Dib's mouth was still numb from the straight vodka, and his head was beginning to, so it took him a moment to process that she had stuck a tongue down his throat.

She has a tongue piercing, and it makes Dib want one.  _ That would be so cool,  _ he thinks.

Dib's head is becoming more fogged by the second, but he manages to tell himself to kiss her back before she decides to leave. He keeps his one hand planted firmly on her chest while the other caresses her back and hip.

"I get the impression you don't do this that often?" She breaks away. Dib touched his mouth.

"That bad?"

"Mm, not the worst I've had. You just need some practice." She purrs, grabbing Dib's rear and grinding against him. It suddenly occurred to Dib that he may be in over his head. She buries her face in his neck and licks him. Yes, he was quietly starting to panic now. He forgot to formulate an escape plan.

"You're heartbeat is so quick." The girl, Dib forgot her name, mumbled into his skin.

"Gotta...gunna… might puke." Dib said, flatly. He wasn't sure if it was true or not, but his body was turning cold.

The girl shrugs, "Eh, I've had grosser things on me." He is hyperaware of her fingers sliding into his pants. He asks, "Do you… do this offen. Offin. Offffffff. Ten?"

Her breath is hot on his icy, sweaty skin as she explains, "It's the only time I'm not thinking."

"Ah. 'S'why I diiiiiiuuuuuurink." Dib Furrows his brows while concentrated on annunciating. 

It occurs to Dib as the girl fondles his packer, that, unlike the majority of guys, he did not have a penis, and the wrong person finding out could be catastrophic. She mashes their faces together again.

The closet door swings open, and Dib was willing to kiss whoever his saviour was.

He was so caught up in being glad to be interrupted that he didn't catch Zim's wide, welling eyes and ajar mouth before they flipped into a pure, unadulterated rage.

"God, get a hi-" She cuts herself off with a shriek as Zim claws at her face, very quickly drawing blood.

She manages to get a good punch on Zim, launching him back, then she lifts a tall hanging mirror off the wall and breaks it over his head, sending glass everywhere. She screeches, " **_WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"_ ** Before darting from the room holding her gushing face. Dib tries to run after her but he can't even take a step before he realizes he's in a hospital, the containments of his stomach sloshing in a bucket before him.

Someone orders him, "Follow the light with your eyes." And he follows in a haze. The light disappears, leaving a few colourful splotches on Dib's eyes, and a nurse beams, "Hey, starting to come back to the real world?"

"Uuhgh." Dib closes his eyes tightly.

"Can you tell me your name and what today is?" The nurse asks. Dib groans aggressively before answering, "Dib Membrane… Saturday the uuuuuuuh fuck if I know anymore. It's March."

The nurse turns to whisper to an outside the room, "Does that count?" They shrug, so Dib's nurse does, too. He decides, "Good enough."

"'m I dead? Is'is hell?" Did murmurs, but with a quick look around he deduces, "Nope, Dad's not here." The nurse stifles a snort before quickly apologizing.

"No, it's okay." Dib falls back, "Issa joke. I'ma joke."

"You're not a joke." Zim's voice is stern beside Dib's head.

"Oooh, Zim!" Dib gawks, "Waddya doing here?"

"I brought you here after you thought it would be a good idea to sleep in your own stomach bile." Zim's voice was icy and low.

"Actually, I did." Dib notices an average height redhead, which eventually can place as keef, "But Zim was the one that called me!"

"No, don't-" Dib covers his ears, "Don't yell."

The nurse interrupts, "Okay, so I've got the IV set up here, aaaaand once this bag here is empty, we'll be able to discharge you, and you're certain you don't want to call someone?"

"When did I say that?" Dib asks.

The nurse responds, "A few minutes ago, my dude."

"Oh."

"Soooo is that a no?" The nurse wonders.

"Itsssa doesn't ma'er. No one'll come, anyway."

Zim states, "I'm here."

Dib rolls his head to look at him. Zim's tiny fists were clenched and he was staring past Dib, breathing uneven.

"Mm." Was Dib's only answer. Keef adds, "I'm also here." Dib frowns, "Yup."

"Alright! I'll be back soon!" The nurse announces.

Keef grins, "I can't believe you got invited to Helen Christian's party."

Dib tries to ignore Keef and just feel like shit. Dib fading in and out of consciousness makes it easy. Zim silent the entire time. When it occurs to Dib that Zim has been here several long minutes and hadn't begun to monologue of self-praise, he opens his eyes again to investigate. Keef was still blubbering away about nonsense, but Zim still wore his stone-cold face with glassy eyes. Dib cuts keef off to ask, "You good, Zim?"

"I'm fine," Zim stated emotionlessly. Dib's stomach lurched again, so he sits up and grabs the bucket, preparing to puke, but he doesn't. His stomach pain was different from nausea, anyway. He couldn't place it.

The nurse came back, "How's my favourite patient holding up?" Dib sets the bucket again and comments, "Why would I know? You should probably check on them."

The nurse laughs, "I meant you. You're the only one in right now that hasn't tried to stab me, yet."

Dib raises an eyebrow, Zim coaxes his head, and Keef blurts, "Huh?"

"Big bar fight, apparently." The nurse removes the IV from Dib's arm, "Half dozen guys filled with glass and they keep ripping the shards from themselves and trying to put them anyone who walks by." The nurse pats Dib's shoulder. 

"So watch it when you leave, most are tied up, but there's a couple who haven't tried to stab anyone else, yet." His pats turn into a firm but gentle grip, "And hang in there, kid. Things never stay the same, sometimes you just got to hold out." It was Dib's turn to snort, but he made no comment. He wasn't going to explain to some rando who has had multiple near-stabbing experiences in that last… however long they have been here, that no matter how long he "holds out" for, he was the problem. The nurse would most likely not let him leave, and wouldn't that be the cherry on the crazy cake that his dad thinks Dib is.

"Sure, whatever." Dib shrugs, "I want to go home now."

***

Dib traced swirls in the fog his breath created on Keef's passenger door window. He was pressing his forehead against it, too fatigued to sit up, and Zim and Keef both refused to let him lay down in the back during the drive. Keef had the radio on to drown out the silence. Zim still wasn't speaking.

Dib considers asking how Keef knows where he lives, as he never told him, but, frankly, he'd rather not know.

"Do you need help carrying him to bed?" Keef asks as he pulls up to the curb. Zim slides out from the backseat, "No, your assistance is no longer required." Zim opens Dib's door and he falls out, eating dirt.

Zim picks him up bridal style with little effort. Dib coos, "oooh, strong." He expected a sarcastic remark, or  _ something,  _ but Zim acted as though Dib didn't speak at all.

The house was dark, but as Zim carried Dib past Gaz's room a strip of light was under her door and the tapping of a keyboard could be heard, which abruptly stopped.

Her door swings open and she pulls out a taser, "Who's- oh. What the hell happened?"

"Dib over-indulged in your  _ stupid  _ Earthy poison," Zim explains, "I am assuring that he makes it to his recharging chamber before I  _ strangle  _ him."

Gaz shrugs, "Use a safe word." Zim tilts his head, "Eh?"

"Nevermind, " She says. She starts to close her door, but hesitates. Dib's head hung over Zim's shoulder and his feet dragged on the ground. He appeared to have fallen asleep in Zim's arms and was drooling down his back. Slowly, Gaz asks, "Is he, like… okay?"

"He's expelled all of his stomach contents already." Zim answers and Gaz shakes her head, explaining, "No, not just right now. He's been acting… differently."

Zim ponders the question for an uncomfortably long time, before deciding that if anyone else were to keep an eye out, he supposed it would be his 'sister'. Zim still wasn't entirely sure what a sister, or brother, was, but he knows enough that it seemed to boil down to "I'm going to beat you up and make you miserable but if anyone else tries to do the same thing, I'll grate them into a pile of human cheese."

"No," Zim admits, "Roughly a month ago he jumped off a bridge with the intention to self-terminate, and tonight I had to bring him to you measly medical facilities because of 'al-kee-hall poisonings and I was unsure of how to proceed."

Gaz stared passed Zim, tounging the hoop ring in her lip. She scrunches her eyes shut and scratches her fingernails down the doorframe, before finally whispering, "He's been making so many jokes…"

Gaz takes a deep breath before finally exhaling sadly and saying, "Thank you...for telling me, and for not...letting him."

Uncharacteristically, Zim still doesn't offer any self-praise, instead nodding at her and continuing to down the hall, leaving Gaz to stare at the floor with her arms crossed.

The medical staff had been kind enough to help wash most of the vomit off of Dib's skin, but it was still dried to his hair and clothing. Zim carefully stripped the soiled fabrics, rousing Dib enough for the human to mumble, "What are you doing?"

"Removing your vomit-wear." Zim says bitterly. It wasn't a little amount just on his shirt. No, when he passed out after he tried to leave the closet, he had heaved out a puddle that reached down to his knees.

Dib lulls his head and hums. Zim was unsure if it was acceptance or disapproval, but that didn't stop him from removing everything down to skin and placing Dib in the bathtub, sitting upright and legs hanging out. Zim also has the peace of mind knowing that the Membrane residence has a filter system that removes whatever makes Zim's skin blister, so he steps in the tub next to Dib, twists the handle to about halfway in the red and starts to scrub the chunks out of his hair.

Dib moves into him, resting his head against Zim's chest. He babbles, "You smell like sugar cookies."

"What is a sugar cookie? Aren't all cookies made with sugar?" Zim inquiries. Dib only hums into Zim's collarbone, his nose pressed to the skin of Zim's neck. It sends a shiver down Zim's spine and his hands pause.

Zim's claws grab Dib by his cowlick and remove him from the closeness and spraying Dib directly in the face, hissing, "You kissed that girl."

He moves the showerhead from Dib's face down to his chest to wash away whatever filth was stuck to his torso. Dib's eyebrows furrow and spends half a minute like that before open his eyes in a squint and asking, "What are you talking about?"

"In that closet, you were with  _ that girl,  _ sucking her face off! Her hand was down your pants!"

Dib still wore his confused expression. Zim threatens, "You better stop staring at me like that before Zim rips your face off, too!"

Dib frowns, "You ripped someone's face off? Zim, what the hell happened?"

Zim removes the water from Dib, squeezing the showerhead tight enough to give it a couple of cracks, "You… do not recall."

"I barely remember entering the house."

Zim stares at him.

He exhales and turns off the water and replaces the showerhead. He climbs out of the tub, announcing, "You are clean and sober. You can make it to bed on your own."

Zim hears Dib spout, "There's no towels." Before he slams the bathroom door shut behind him, he shouts back, "Figure it out, you pile of earth-dog dirt!"

Zim runs his hands over his face, "Why must  _ you _ be the only other intelligent being in the stupid, filthy, horrible planet?"

Zim hears Dib fall, and he turns, ready to check if he needs to take him back to the hospital, but Zim's alert is calmed when Dib curses, sounding only mildly inconvenienced. Zim hisses again and pulls a device from his PAK. He boots it up, but in Irken writing, it flashed, 

_ ERROR _

_ IRKEN DATABASE HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED _

Zim growls and tugs on his antenna, before returning the machine to his PAK and balling his fists. Dib slams into the door and Zim hears him fall again, followed by a pathetic, "Ow."

Zim rubs his eyes before opening the door, smacking Dib with it. Hard.

"Ouch, fuck! Zim!"

"You're more helpless than a nursing Kopleling." Zim declares, "And you look like an ape with all the gross hair and flabby chest meat."

Dib covers his chest with his arms, "Don't talk about my chest. I know these things suck and I'm getting them removed soon as possible."

Zim sneers,"Remove those fat deposits? Has your civilization even figured out how to do that?"

"Yes! Now, let's stop talking about this!" Dib snaps, "Are you going to help me up?" Zim slams the door against him again. Dib curses once more and forces himself into a sitting position with low difficulty. Zim hits him with the door once more, before frantically and repeatedly bashing it into Dib until he grabs the handle to stop the assault.

Dib shouts, "What the  _ fuck  _ is wrong with you?!" Zim hangs off the handle, forehead pressed to the wood and eyes closed.

  
" _ Good night,  _ Dib." He snarled. He turns on his heels again, this time not stopping as he stomped out of the house.


	4. Family Discussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zim gives dib some advice and he takes it

Dib picked out a chunk of vomit out of his goatee. While the rest of his facial hair was patchy and could be described as "owner-of-a-white-windowless-van-esque" if left unshaven, the hair on his chin grew in nicely enough that he didn't get ID'd when purchasing the large bottle of vodka and a few premade assorted shots. His Dad never checked up on what he or Gaz would spend his money on and he knew it wasn't going to start now. 

The downside of all of that, however, was he now hunched over a fallen tree in the forest where another student, Lilith something if Dib recalls correctly, was killed a couple of months ago, gushing out what was left of his dinner mixed with pure vodka. He would rather be in the comfort of his own bathroom, but in the past month he has passed out with his face stuck to the toilet seat twice and he really didn't need Gaz on his ass about it. Part of him knew she should be, and Dib knows that he should be concerned about what was slowly starting to become nightly, but it was easier to cover up the regurgitated spaghetti taste with a premade pornstar shot and not think. He just needed to stop thinking so much.

He rolls off the log and slides to the ground. I wasn't sure if it was a rain puddle or pooled vomit, but he sat it something wet. He didn't care.

A series of clicks and seemingly random noises causes him to roll his head. He's come to recognize the combination of sounds to know that it was Zim, and he was most likely cursing Dib out in his native tongue. He blows a raspberry and grins wickedly when he sees that Zim was right beside him, and he just spits all over his face.

Zim screeches and frantically wipes his face on his clothes. Dib chuckles like a young child hearing someone fart which causes Zim shoots him a deadly glare. Dib half expects the unwinding metal legs to pierce his torso, after all, he definitely deserved it, but they hook under his arms and lift him to his feet.

"Stop being so pathetic," Zim snarls, "I am fully aware you more capable than this, or has you inferior human brain turned to sewage in that giant head of yours?"

"Fuck you, I've grown into my head." Dib tries to slap him, but just uselessly motioned in the air, leaning on the PAK legs, mumbling like he was trying hard.

"Your disgusting monkey face hair is full of regurgitated poison and noodles," Zim noted aloud. He used the remaining PAK legs to elevate himself to Dib's face, reaches over his shoulder to reach into his PAK and retrieve a handkerchief. He utters, "disgusting. Revolting," As he wipes Dib's face clean. Dib repeats, "Fuck you." 

Zim tosses the cloth away, not wanting the soiled rag anywhere near the rest of his belongings. Zim opens his mouth and begins to shriek at him, but the next thing Dib knew he was in his bathroom, Zim tugging off his shirt and already pantless. Dib slurs, "Fuck off, alien scum." He manages to land a slap on Zim's head, but any force he manages to conjure sends him tumbling backwards. Zim's metal leg catches him.

Zim hisses, "You are  **_COVERED_ ** in your own revolting bile!" Dib is lifted into an ice-cold shower. He yelps and begins kicking and punching randomly but Zim holds him under until he's satisfied Dib's of cleanliness. He uses another leg to shut off the freezing water.

Dib was practically frothing at the mouth with rage. Zim pulls out a giant fan from his PAK and begins drying Dib, still holding him I'm again the tiles.

"Humans are so disgustingly hairy," Zim comments, but he seems more thoughtful than spiteful. When Dib is dried, Zim finally releases him. Dib launches at him, punching him in the jaw.

" _ All _ your hair is still out," Zim informs Dib calmly. Dib glances down at his bare body, straddling Zim. He curses loudly and springs up and out of the bathroom.

Zim toddles after Dib. His door wasn't completely closed and Zim enters without knocking. A shoe smacks him in the face and he falls backwards.

"What the  _ fuck is wrong with you? _ " Dib snaps, stepping on Zim's stomach, "Seriously,  _ stripping  _ someone is beyond one of the worst things you've ever done!"

"Would you have preferred for me to put you on your recharging cushion while covered in your own filth?" Zim's antenna twitches. Dib pauses and squints at Zim, "Why are you trying to help me?"

Zim is silent, as he favours cleaning the crumbs in the carpet and on Dib's computer desk over Dib.

"I told you already." Zim says, "It is my job to make you miserable." Dib laughs bitterly, stepping back and sitting on the bed.

"'Course. 'Course. Right." He rubs his eyes. He was crying. Zim closes the door and hops beside him.

"Rough day?" Zim rested his head against Dib's arm. He flinches at the touch but doesn't move away.

"My dad is forcing me into university. Like, he's already setting up classes for me in, " Dib strikes a dramatic pose, " _ Membrane university!" _

Zim's PAK flickers before he says, "Simple: take classes that apply to whatever you really want to do!" Dib wipes his eyes, "Yeah, he definitely doesn't offer a 'demon summoning' class or a 'seducing a witch' class."

"Seducing?"

"All he offers is rocket science and creating AI and curing all the diseases in morally dubious methods," Dib explains. Zim's PAK flickers again, before he proudly announcing, "Journalism and mechanical engineering are both offered classes that could be useful for paranormal investigation."

Dib blinks and stares down at Zim, silent.

"I listen." Zim beams, "Can't always hear, but I listen!" Dib chuckles again

"That's…" Dib awkwardly pets Zim's head, "Thanks."

Zim closes his eyes and his antennas relax as he leans into his touch. Dib holds back snickers as Zim makes a  _ huhehuheho  _ sound. When Dib stops, Zim reacts like the moment never happened.

Dib falls back, sighing, "Everything sucks. I don't want to deal with any of this anymore."

Zim steps on his stomach, weighing no more than a fat cat, and bends at the hips to get in Dib's face and proclaim, "I agree! But you will do it anyway! And stop with that incessant, foul poison!" Dib pushes Zim off and he lands face-first into the mattress. Dib explains, "Listen, you get one or the other. Not both."

Zim crosses his arms, "Explain!"

Dib exhales and rubs his face. "It's… I don't stop thinking, ever, and most of my thoughts are about how stupid I am, how creepy I am, how I don't belong anywhere, not even in my own family, and… ways to solve that. This morning I ended up just not eating because I looked at my cereal and thought-" Dib shakes his head, derailing himself, "But when I drink, I'm not thinking at all. It just feels like my brain is floating in a lake, somewhere far away, and it's the only time I can escape myself."

Zim squints. "Why would you want to stop thinking? You're the smartest human, which of course doesn't mean much, but even compared to Irkens you would be considered above average, and  _ that's  _ incredibly impressive!" He threw his fist in the air for punctuation.

Dib rolls away from Zim, "Then Irkens must be a lot dumber than I thought because I'm not that smart." Zim slaps Dib's face with a  _ plap! _

" **_SILENCE YOUR LIE-HOLE!"_ ** Zim shouted.

**_"SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I PULL BOTH OF YOUR ASSHOLES OUT THROUGH YOUR MOUTHS!"_ ** Gaz shouted louder. Both boys clamp their jaws shut and hold their breaths to listen for Gaz. They eventually release it and Zim gets in Dib's face again, jabbing a finger into his chest, "As your love-pig and future overlord I forbid you to wallow in such pity!"

Dib reaches around Zim and grabs his PAK, easily lifting him with one arm, and dangling him out the window. He states, "Humans use the word 'boyfriend', which you still are not, and you have no authority over me." He releases Zim and watches his metal legs shoot out to stop the fall. He quickly closes the window, locks it, and shuts the curtains. Zim starts to tap on the window in a quick recession. Dib knew from previous experience it would take him hours to tire himself out so he dawns some soundproof headphones and decides to polish off the room temperature vodka hidden in his underwear drawer.

***

Dib brushed off any possible dirt or lint off his clothes. He was currently wearing a white button-down and no jacket. That alone made him uncomfortable, but it was only worsened by the fact that he was dressed like this was to talk to his father. Dib had decided to take Zim's college idea and he was, very nervously, going to tell his father to his face. Or rather, face to goggles and coat collar, but close enough.

It was after midnight and his hi skool graduation was tomorrow evening, but it's not like he was invited to any pre-grad celebrations. Except for the stoner kids, that is, and as long as he didn't bring Zim along. Dib, no longer able to wait until he got home, had begun to fill his school water bottle with some vodka and juice. It mellowed him out and the 420 enthusiasts came to the wrong conclusion.

They once found him during lunch and offered him some gummies, and Zim came out of nowhere and shrieked about them peer pressuring Dib into drugs. Dib admittedly found it amusing to watch them scatter like that ratatouille scene until Zim stole his spiked water bottle and ran off, dumping it as he went. Then he was just pissed.

Regardless, it was after midnight, and he was  _ still  _ waiting for his father to come home. 

He told himself to do this sober so he can properly debate with his father, but he was currently halfway through a screwdriver as he waited. Finally, Professor Membrane tried to unlock the front door only to find it still open. Dib heard him hiss something about "damned kids" and he only curses again when he notices the kitchen light still on.

"Oh, son!" He stops in the doorframe, "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"You know I can't sleep without my pills." Dib states, "You know, the ones I can't fill myself for another couple months that you keep saying you'll pick up?" Membrane's hands twitch as he exclaims, "Oh, yes, how could I forget. I'll grab them in the morning!"

"You've been saying that for six months," Dib frowns, "But that's not why I need to talk to you. Please, sit."

Membrane chuckles, "Sure, son." Dib briefly wonders if his father often forgot his name but determines now was not the time.

Instead, he swallows and tries his best to confidently inform, "I've decided I'll go to college."

Membrane clasps his hands together and his cheeks bundle under his goggles signifying a wide smile, "That's wonderful, Dib! I've already started-"

"But only for journalism and investigation."

All joy spills out Membrane faster than a tipped glass of milk. He grunts, "Ah, no." Before falling silent for an insufferable amount of time.

Dib adds, "It's that or not at all."

His father hunches forwards, laying on his hands and shaking his head. Dib quickly downs the rest of his screwdriver before any shame could seep in.

Membrane finally sits up straight again.

He says, "Dib, you have so much potential to do such great things-"

"Thanks, and I'll use that potential in the way I want." Dib stipulates. When silence settles in again and Membrane is staring down in disappointment, Dib, thanks to now being intoxicated enough to be dissociating, stares back with perceived apathy.

Dib thought about how stupid his father's goggles looked. He was never going to wear goggles.

Membrane flattens his palms against the table, "I've already signed you up for advanced classes like biology and chemistry." He was trying to be strict, to sound tough and sturdy. Dib was to busy only half listening, half wondering if his jacket looked as dumb as his father's goggles.

"It's your school, " Dib reasons, "And I think that doing that may be illegal."

Membrane fingers drum on the table. Dib wonders if his fingers will become as fat like his father's. Probably. Eck.

"What if I refuse to change the classes?" Membrane asked. Dib was hoping he would ask that.

He grinned, "Oh, simple! I won't go!"

"If you reject higher education, Dib, you will no longer be allowed in my house."

"Then I guess I'll work at Bloaty's, get a roommate or two that smokes meth, and drink away my thoughts until my liver fails and I fall over and die while cleaning kid piss out of the carpet that hasn't been dry since the '80s."

"This isn't a joke, Dib!"

"Which part did you think was supposed to be a joke?"

Membrane slams his hands on the table and leans closer to Dib, "Would you really rather alcoholism and kid piss over the one thing you were designed to do?!"

Dib feels something start crack inside him, like the finer fibres of an old tree starting to give away, and he leans in as well, stating icily, "Dad. I'm not changing my mind. You want me to go to college? Then I'm going on my own terms, but I'll manage without it, and I can learn to manage without you.

Dib stands up, pauses because he's dizzy but it looks as though he was looking down at his father, then stomps to his room, making sure his father hears every step, as well as the door slamming.

He felt good. He felt relieved! He should celebrate with another drink!

***

Dib felt like crap. A tired, sweaty, nauseous pile of crap. He recalls that there is still pizza in the fridge. Water and fat are what he needs.

His father was still in his spot at the table, wearing an expression that was at the crossroads of disappointment, confusion and defeat. He had a full mug of tea. The handle facing away from him suggests Gaz had made it for him.

"Dib." Membrane said flatly as his son took three slices, stacked them, and ate them all at once.

"Dah." Dib spit through a mouth full, standing in front of the opened fridge.

Membrane's face was just as covered as always but Dib just  _ knew  _ he was frowning in disgust at his eldest spawn.

His father says slowly, "I've been thinking… about what you said."

"I can see that." Dib remarks. He decides against adding how it was clear all his hopes and expectations were shattered into fairy dust.

"And also spoke with your sister." He continues. Dib imagined she said something along the line of, "let the idiot do what he wants."

Membrane swallows, "You are dead set on journalism or nothing?" Dib tore apart a piece of crust, watching the bread break "Uh-huh." Membrane sighs heavily, lifting his goggles to rub his eyes. So he  _ did  _ have eyes, thought in bitter amusement.

"Son, do you know  _ why  _ I want to participate in  _ real  _ science?" He asks.

"Is it the legacy thing, the clone thing, or just the business image?"

Membrane shakes his head, "No, it's- wait, what do you mean clone thing? You know?"

Dib shrugs and chugs a bottle of water, "believe it or not, I'm not completely stupid." Membrane stands up, shouting, "I know you're not stupid!"

Dib's pounding head did not like that and he flinches. He replied dismissively, "Okay." And shut the fridge with his hip. His father falls back into his chair. He takes the cold mug of tea and sips it. He slowly asked, "How long have you known?"

"Found some notes on it when you kept forgetting to pick up my puberty blockers so I made my own in the lab downstairs.

"I never… picked any of those up, did I…?"

"Nope."

Membrane runs his hands over his hair, silent.

"I never got your testosterone, either."

"I've been making that in the lab, too." Dib punctuates himself by scratching his stubble, "It was easier since I just had to replicate your doses."

"I will rearrange your classes." Membrane said finally. Dib shrugged, "Awesome, thanks."

Gaz was sitting crosslegged on the couch, barking orders into a gaming headset and still as a statue, save for her fingers mashing into a controller was not out of the ordinary. What  _ was  _ out of the ordinary was Zim, sitting, also cross-legged, on the floor, also still except for his fingers on a controller.

They both suddenly cheer, and Dib grabs his head. He hisses, "be quiet…!"

"Your boyfriend is here." Gaz informs him, "and he's a way better teammate than you."

Dib scoffs, "He's not my boyfriend, and good. I don't want to play any video games anyway." He was undermined by Zim jumping on the couch armrest to be eye level with Dib and shrieking, "You sleep too long!"

Dib flinches and shoves Zim back, complaining, "Must you yell?"

"Yes!" Zim yells.

Gaz pops an eye open and looks Dib once over before asking, "You good?"

"Yeah, I just…" Dib hesitates, "banged my head earlier…" Gaz doesn't respond, still staring at him.

Zim springs at Dib, knocking him to the floor and mashing a third controller into his face as he sits on his chest, demanding, "You  _ will  _ play with Zim!"

"Fine!" Dib pushes Zim off and takes the controller, "Since when did we have three controllers?"

"I brought my own," Zim explains, plopping on the couch. Gaz finally stops staring at Dib when he sits on the couch and she starts a new round.


	5. Gaz Takes Charge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib almost dies again, but this time Gaz finds out.

"Gaz! Wirs Ga-" Dib hurled into a bucket provided by the hospital. It was a colourful array of different alcohols and activated charcoal, smelling similar to a gas station bathroom. When he was able to pause for a breath he sobbed again, "Gaz!"

Zim stood outside the hospital room, Dib's phone press at a high angle to try and hear through the wig. It took the third attempt before her end finally picked up with a vicious, "You better be  _ fucking  _ dying to call me at this hour, Dib!"

"It is Zim. Dib is in the local medical facility." He informs her quickly. There is a long silence before Zim hears Gaz curse very loudly. There shuffling on the other end and Gaz seems to be elsewhere as she yells at the phone, "What happened? Is he going to be okay?"

"He consumed too much alcohol again and is merely receiving a stomach pumping." Zim explains, "But this time the medical staff wish to keep him here for a few hours, stating his blood alcohol level is dangerously high, and he is calling for you."

"Ga-" Dib barfs again.

"Again?  _ This time?"  _ Gaz asks, "How many times has this happened before?"

"In total? This is his seventh stomach pumping." Zim says. Gaz doesn't respond for a long time, and Zim looks at the device in his hand to make sure the call didn't drop. She finally says, "Okay."

Zim turns back his attention to Dib, who appeared to be finished spewing up his insides and was just bawling into the bucket. Zim patted his thigh which seemed to make Dib cry harder.

Once Dib had started college, his drinking had become worse. He had teetering between functional and nonfunctional, depending on the day, but he was getting better at not over-consuming. Two years and he only had to get his stomach pumped once. Despite not being enrolled, Zim had become a regular sight in Dib's dorm. However, after a couple of individuals that Dib had has his mouth on in one place or another went missing, Zim was also pleased to find that he and Dib were now purposely avoided by the students. The downside was that Dib was filling his need for social interaction with miscellaneous booze. As humans would say, it was a double-edged sword.

A nurse tried to coo words of encouragement as she watched over Dib to make sure he didn't choke on his own stomach contents or have another, the nurse had said it was called a seizure? Her voice was drowned out by Dib's wretches and sobbing. Zim pushed himself onto the bed behind Dib so he could lean against his back, the side of his head meeting just under his shoulder. Zim could feel all of Dib's quivering muscles. He was cold to the touch and soaked through with sweat. Zim thinks,  _ humans are so vile,  _ but he doesn't move.  _ Why do I still bother with you? _

That rhythmic beep of a vital monitor becomes frantic again. Zim is forcefully thrown back and a nurse, once more, calls, "Patient is having a code blue!" The nurse stuffs a pillow between a seizing Dib and the metal railing of the bed to keep him from bruising his arms more.

"Idiot. Idiot. Idiot!" He chanted. If Dib wasn't already destroying himself, "Zim could strangle you!" Zim flexes his fingers in front of him.

As the spasms stop, the nurse rolls him over and holds the bucket beside him as he vomits again.

" _ ¡Me cago en la hostia! Pinche idiota! Tonto del culo!"  _ Gaz marches into the room, fists locked at her sides, " _ ¡Hostia! Imbécil! _ "

Dib hurdles back, "Gaz, you  _ Pajero…estoy mareado…" _

Gaz shouts back, "No shit!" The nurse replaces Dib's IV with a full one and requests, "Please keep your voices down or I'll have to call security."

Gaz opened her mouth like she was going to screech, but snaps her jaw shut and shakes her fists in the air, before inhaling deeply and breathing out through her nose, like a dragon preparing to breathe fire.

In a deep whisper, she asks, " _ What  _ were you  _ thinking?" _

Dib doesn't answer, breathing still uneven.

"He just had a seizure, he may still be coming to." The nurse explains.

Zim, who was hidden on the other side of Dib, walked around to be beside her. She barely acknowledged Zim, instead placing an unusually gentle hand on Dib's head.

She hisses, "You're so  _ stupid!"  _ Before choking back a sob, "It's like you  _ want  _ to leave me alone with Dad."

"Gaz…" Dib mumbles, "You're crying…? What… happened?"

"I'm going to fucking chop you up, skewer you, and serve you at Dad's stupid office Christmas party and say they're fucking pork kabobs!" Gaz snaps. Zim adds, "Leave me his brain so I can dissect it." His tone may have been genuine.

"Pleasant friends and family you keep, " the Nurse teases, "I'll be back in a few minutes. If you must seizure again, wait until I get back."

Dib rolls onto his back with a great struggle, his limbs exhausted. He repeats, "What happened?"

"Seven times, " Gaz says, overly calm, "This is your seventh time getting alcohol poisoning."

Dib scoffs. "No, it's only happened-" his fingers snake to his chest to count, "Oh."

Her fingers grip the metal bed railing, her anger denting it. If there were any humans he would be truly afraid of, it would be her. He was glad that they now had an allyship through video games and frustration stemming from Dib.

"You, " She announces, "Are going to rehab."

Dib pathetically attempts to shake his head, "I don't need-"

" _ Seven  _ times!" Gaz interrupts. When silent tears, "You've also drunk yourself to death  _ seven times!"  _ Dib recoiled, trying to hide in the pillow, "I'm fine!" Zim unsurely pats Gaz's forearm.

"You are not fine, " She counters, "Look, I'll tell Dad, that you had to put college on hold or dropped out or  _ whatever,  _ but I'll fucking drag you there by the cowlick and have them stick you in a straight jacket until your sobered up if I need to, but you are  _ going!" _

Dib opened his mouth to protest, but Gaz glares at him with enough intimation to make Dib, and Zim, flinch. He relents, "Okay…"

"Great, I'll go see if I can get you jello or something." Gaz says, grabbing Zim by the arm, digging her long-except-for-the-middle-and-pointer-fingers nails into his arm, "Come help me!". She drags him into the hall.

Zim remarks, "I don't think they will give him food, yet, he will probably vomit again."

"I'm not really getting fucking jello!" Gaz hisses, "What didn't you tell me he had a problem!?"

"You need to be more specific, he has many problems."

"That's he's an alcoholic,  _ tarado!" _

"What's…" Zim's PAK flashes and Gaz hears it whir, "an alcoholic…?"

Her face shifted from murderous to wide-eyed concern, "You don't…"

Zim's expression changes to mirror hers, "I had no idea alcohol could be an addictive subsistence! He just said he wanted to stop thinking! I didn't-"

Gaz sighs, "Fucking… It's fine. It's not fine, but you didn't know. I don't know why I thought an alien would…"

She crosses her arms, "I'm not telling Dad. Not yet, at least. He'll be all ' _ I don't understand why he's doing this! His education is more important than anything! _ ' Blah blah blah."

"Yes, I agree." Zim nods, "That would not be a good idea."

Gaz falls against the wall and slides down, and asks in a defeated tone, "Did you really think after, like, the third hospital visit that there might be an issue."

"I was decapitated once."

Gaz squints at him with her mouth ajar, but when she doesn't respond, Zim explains, "By an improperly secured wire saw. Our PAKs can repair any damage, as long as  _ it  _ remains unharmed. I only knew to take him to the hospital the first time is because three naked teens saw him and said 'Oh, god. He needs an ambulance!'"

Gaz continues to stare at him as Zim sits down beside her, and he finishes, "This situation is completely foreign to me."

"You mean it's an alien experience?" Gaz half-chuckles. Zim tilts his head, "Eh?"

"Nevermind."

Gaz looks down the hall at a couple of nurses helping a pale, bone-thin woman into a wheelchair.

"I mean, I'm not surprised that out of all humans that you to chose him to cling to, but why now?" She wonders.

Zim traces the grout of the floor tiles.

"You will not repeat to anyone?" Zim requests. Gaz pulls out the latest GameSlave model and waves it, "I guess I can keep a secret for my best teammate on War Deployment III."

"All my… everything had been disconnected a few years ago." Zim admits, "My ship, my communicator, my updates, even my computer is running on basic."

Gaz boots up the game, asking, "and what does that mean?"

"That means I have no one. I was going to fight your brother for  _ some  _ form of… normalcy, but…"

"But?"

"Than I saw him on a bridge, and then he jumped off it, and…"

"And?"

"...My first thought was 'no, this is all I have left. The universe will have to pry it from my cold, dead hands.' I knew…"

Gaz glances over a Zim, who was staring forward, blankly.

"That's a purely human saying, and I never understood it until I had Dib standing over me, crying his eyes out and telling me how everything was against him, and  _ understanding  _ that."

Gaz pauses her game, "That's sweet. Especially compared to that I got with my girlfriend cause she said I have a nice ass."

Zim raises an eyebrow. Gaz states, "We're not gonna last, but she eats it good, so."

"I have no idea what that means."

"It  _ means  _ he's lucky to have you." Gaz explains, "You guys compliment each other nicely. Your both nuts."

"Ah, so this is how Dib feels when I give him what he calls a 'backhanded compliment'."

Gaz punches his shoulder, "It's called  _ teasing,  _ dumb fuck. It's what  _ friends  _ do."

***

"Dad couldn't be bothered?" Dib asked, but it was more of a statement. Gaz shakes her head, "He said his new batch of employees were more urgent."

Dib's shoulders fall and his grip on his bag tightens, "Of course."

"You gonna go get all better, " Gir climbs up Dib's leg, "So you stop being all sick everywhere?" Dib holds him on his hip like an infant. 

Dib nods, "I am, hopefully." Gir lays his head on his shoulder, "That's good! You're so nice when you ain't drinking the poison!"

"Thank you, ahm, little robot." Dib awkwardly bounces him.

"Gir, there is a snack table! You can have  _ one  _ juice box and  _ three  _ cookies!" Zim informed, marching into the room, "Dib you look sickly."

"Yeah, I'm feeling it, " Dib said, falling onto the bottom of a bunk bed, "This is going to be  _ so much fun!" _

Gaz shoves a sweater at Dib, "I got this for you when you get shivers and shit from withdrawals, and this isn't supposed to be fun, it's supposed to get you sober and coping!"

Dib held it up. It appeared to be hand-knitted with what appeared to be tiny almost-ghosts pattern in it and uneven sleeves. Dib opens his mouth and Gaz snarls, "Not a word."

He hugs her, saying, "Thanks, I love it."

"Eeeeeew." She moans, trying to squirm away, but Dib picks her up, grinning, "You're the best little sister in the world!"

"Ugh, don't say that!" Gaz kicks him, "You know mushy shit burns me!"

"So does holy water." Dib sticks out his tongue and releasing her.

"When'd you get that?" Gaz asks, waving at a silver stud in the middle of Dib's tongue. He shrugs, "Month ago. I don't remember getting it but my mouth was filled with blood when I woke up. Cool, huh?"

"Dib, that's terrifying." She responds. He admits, "I thought I killed someone cause it was all over my pillow and face."

"And you didn't seek help then?!" Gaz kicked him again, "Dumbass!" Dib shrugged.

Gir toddled in, slurping on a juice box and holding three cookies, one bitten in half, and hops on the bed.

Gaz waves, "I'm leaving, I'll see you on my day off." Gaz pats Gir on the head, her hand getting caught on the sticky dog suit.

"Gross, wash your fursuit." She says, holding her hand away from her.

Zim responds defensively, "I do! Everyday! I turn around for three seconds and suddenly he's covered in weird liquids and worse solids!" Gir giggles, "I got ranch in my ear today!" Zim groans, pulls out a handkerchief, lifts the fabric ear and wipes off the condiment.

Gaz shrugs, "You know what they say: can't turn your back on kids for a second."

"Gir is not a  _ child,  _ he is a faulty information retrieval unit." Zim flicks the rag into a nearby garbage can.

"That is literally what a child is, but whatevs," Gaz replies, wiping her soiled hand in Dib's hair. He pulls away, "Wha- Hey!"

"Mmkay, Bye." Gaz says and she walks out the door, "You will get better! That's a threat!"

Zim states quietly, "Gazlene is terrifying. She would make an excellent Irken."

"I know." Dib responds, "One time I took the last of the cheddar so used the cheese grater on my knee! I still have the scar."

Zim turns to face Dib, inquiring, "This 'rehab center' had daily visiting, correct?"

"Uh, yeah?" Dib answers, "From 4 pm to 6 pm."

Zim nods, "I will see you tomorrow at 4. Gir, come along."

Gir jumps on Dib, wrapping his arms around his neck and shrieking, "You will get better! Scary threatened you!" Gir launches off of Dib's ribs.

"Hrk!" He grunts, falling over, "I think he broke something."

Zim shrugs, "You will heal. Goodbye." Zim turns on his heel and marches out, Gir following behind like a duckling.


	6. Rehab

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib's in rehab

Zim stands on his tiptoes at the receptionist's desk, incessantly ringing the bell.

_ Dingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingding! _

The receptionist rolls in his chair less than a meter away to grab Zim's wrist, silencing the ringing. Before the poor man could get a word in Zim shouts, "I am here to see Dib Membrane!"

The receptionist smiles tiredly as he hands Zim a clipboard.

"Just sign in here, " He instructs, "Aw, are you his  **little** brother?"

Zim clenches the pen and clipboard tightly. He considered putting them both through the receptionist skull but decided he doesn't want the police pestering him  _ again  _ over a few missing persons. The last person he was going to let off with a warning, but then he saw what Dib called "hickeys" on his neck and chest, so obviously only breaking a few bones wouldn't cut it.

Regardless, he couldn't just let this  _ worker drone  _ calling him "little"! No, he needed to  _ smear  _ it in his face how wrong he was!

"No! Dib is my…" As he scribbles his first name, he recalls that humans will take each other's last names. His PAK effortlessly hacks into the nearest wi-fi connection and searches about, leading to the perfect term he was looking for, "husband."

He finishes by writing  _ MEMBRANE  _ after his own name. The quick blinking and raised eyebrows was the satisfying reaction Zim had been looking for. He didn't wait for the secretary to respond, instead promenading past.

It didn't take him long to find Dib. He was in the very next room, curled up in a chair in the corner, holding a small garbage pail.

"Hello, Dib." Zim strode up. Dib was paler than usual, sweaty and shaking. He opens an eye to mumble something incoherent, before burping and holding the bin closer.

"Dib-Human!" Zim calls, demanding his attention. Dib hums quizzically. Zim stands on his tippy toes.

"The service drone called me 'little'!" He announces in frustration. Dib, again, hums in acknowledgment. Zim leans over the armrest, trying to get in Dib's face, and announcing, "So I told him you are my husband!"

Dib slowly turns his head to Zim, squinting, eyebrows furrowed and mouth ajar.

Zim looked back innocently.

Dib breathed through his nose and leaned back, closing his eyes again. Dib was so exhausted and ill that if Zim were to slowly stab him, Dib would just let it happen. Zim announcing their apparent marital status was not even a blip on his radar right now.

A quick glance around the room and Zim found that there a couple of other people in similar conditions to Dib, and a nurse who was placing a wet cloth on the forehead of a man who was in the fetal position on the floor. Zim uses his PAK legs to sit on the armrest next to Dib.

Zim states, "You look like you're dying." Dib lays his head in Zim's lap, and Zim adds, "You have a fever. Hold on." Zim has his PAK lower his own body temperature.

"You're cold." Dib mumbles. Zim is unsure of where to place his hands. He shifts them from awkwardly hovering in the air to the back of the chair, to his sides, to the air once more, before finally settling them in Dib's damp hair.

"Yes, I lowered my body heat." Zim explains, "You are plenty warm for the both of us. Are you unwell?"

"Look up 'withdrawal and symptoms'. " Dib tilts his head up, "And you can do that?"

As Zim quickly researches Dib's suggestion, he answers, "Of course! How else do you think I've survived your ridiculous Urth seasons like summer and winter?"

Dib chuckles softly, "Luck?"

"Ha! Luck is a made-up concept from this stupid planet!" Zim announces, "Zim has no luck!

"Neither do I." Dib states and Zim nods, "You agree! See! You  _ are  _ smart!" Dib snorts.

Zim reaches into his PAK and pulls out a pink and purple tablet. He says, "I have been speaking with Gazlene, and she has suggested that, perhaps, the reason you are usually so resistant to my allyship is that you have a hard time trusting Zim, due to my attempts to take over your planet and kill you."

"O...kay?" Dib acknowledges. Zim lowers the tablet to Dib's face, and he continues, "So I brought you this. It is a documentation of not just Irken anatomy, but all known assimilated races as well, and their strength and weaknesses. I hope this also satisfies your desire to vivisect Zim."

Dib sits up a little too quickly and holds his head to stop the spinning as he unnecessary aggressively taps the screen as Zim still held it. Irken letters pop up. Dib reads aloud, "face… something." Before it changes to a screen with a spinning circle over another Irken word.

"Translating?" Dib raises an eyebrow, before an incomprehensible long list appears in English, with Irkens pinned to the side so that no matter how much Dib flicked through the alien species, Zim's heritage was always on screen.

Dib's mouth hung open as he slowly took the tablet, glancing between it and Zim. Zim stared at him, wide-eyed, before asking, "You can read Irken?"

"I have picked up on some words from… hacking...into your… computer…" Dib gritted. He expected Zim to start screaming and tear away the gift, but after taking time to process that, he replied, "Impressive, for a species that has to manually learn languages."

Dib tapped on  _ Irken  _ and the screen filled with a bare 3D model of an irken, slowly spinning, but there were no words.

"Um," Dib says. Zim taps the antenna of the model, and screen shifts so half the screen was taken up by everything currently known about the body part. Words like  _ hearing  _ and  _ smell  _ catch Dib's eye before Zim double taps the model's skin, and it fades to reveal muscle, organs and bones. The image resembled the glimpse he got of Zim's internals as a preteen through the x-ray goggles well enough that Dib realizes this isn't a prank.

Dib turns to Zim, who was still sitting on the armrest, one leg over the other and appearing very smug. Slowly, Dib asks, "Why are you giving me this?"

"I told you! I need you to trust Zim, " Zim answers, "Open your earholes!"

" _ Why  _ do you need me to trust you?" Dib inquiries. It had been years now that Zim had been announcing to anyone and everyone that they were, originally "love-pigs" but after correction, boyfriends, years that Zim had been snatching him away for ice cream or dinner, years that he would drop in unexpectedly and just hang around with him and Gaz. Dib lost count of the times he woke up with Zim sitting next to him after watching him sleep for who knows how long. He has even made breakfast a few times, which Dib had only recently learned that Gaz had been teaching him from books and online recipes. He spent almost 7 years fighting tooth and nail trying to destroy the planet, only to turn like the flip of a coin when ZIM saved Dib on that bridge.

Zim pulls Dib's head back into his cooled lap, saying, "Nevermind that while other nasty humans are around." Dib lets him as he returns to the main menu, clicking randomly on aliens.

"I've researched this 'withdrawal', " Zim says, mindlessly petting Dib's hair, "Is the worker drones properly medicating you?" Dib shrugs and answers, "I haven't died yet and  _ how?" _ Zim explains, "My PAK has no issues accessing your measly Urth wifi." Before digging his claws into Dib's head and opens his mouth in preparation to shout at the nurse, but Dib cuts him off, "I didn't want to admit that I was drinking more than a 24oz bottle of vodka a day, Zim. That's a whole freaking lot."

"Are you not in a facility for people who are consuming 'a whole freaking lot' of varied poisonous substances?" Zim reasons. Dib sighs, "I guess."

Zim furthers, "There is likely someone who has consumed just as much, if not more, than you, and they are not a living vibrator because they admitted to service drones."

"Don't call me a vibrator."

"Well, stop  _ vibrating  _ then!"

"Shaking. The term is shaking. Vibrator is a completely other thing."

Zim's PAK blinks again as he says, "How different can it- GAH!" He falls backwards off the chair. Dib howls with laughter before violently throwing up into the bucket.

He whines, "Don't make me laugh, my everything hates me!" Zim stands limply, peering over the armrest, face scandalized and a deep pine green. Dib snorts and attempts to hold back laughter.

"I had no idea you could blush!" Dib grinned. Zim turns away like it would undo Dib seeing.

"Yes, well-" Zim congers up some excuse, "Irkens are so superior with disguises! Obviously, it is just part of the disguise!" Dib rests his chin on the back of his hand, looking at Zim with half-laden eyes, reminding Zim of the look Gir gets when he's been watching the television for a week without break.

"Maybe," Dib hums, "But you know I've always seen through your disguises."

A shiver runs up Zim's spine and it takes a moment for him to compose himself. He jerks a finger at Dib, "Do NOT gaze upon Zim like- like-"

Dib frowns, "Look at you like what?"

"Like I'm frying your brain!"

Dib furrows his brows, silent, before falling backwards against that chair and laughing out again, before crumpling in on himself and groaning.

Zim points, "Ha! I win!"

"Sure, sure. Whatever."

Dib had begun to drip buckets of sweat, his body rattling enough that Zim wonders if he's having one of those so-called seizures again, but his knees remain pressed to his arms which clutched his stomach. Zim moves so he can hold Dib's fevered face to his chilled chest. Zim says, "If I understand correctly, the first two days of withdrawal are the worst?"

"Mmm."

"Hello, you two doing alright over here?" The nurse asked, appearing behind Zim. Before Dib can think to answer, Zim questions, "What did Dib say he was drinking regularly?"

"Umm…" The nurse scans his clipboard, "8 oz. daily."

Zim glares down at Zim, who averts his gaze. Zim corrects, "He was consuming more than _ 24 _ oz. daily."

"Bucket," Dib warned, pulling himself from Zim and burying his face in it. He doesn't vomit and just remains like that.

"I figured it was at least doubled that." She says, "I'll be back with some more meds."

Dib's voice echoed in the pail, "I think I'm dying." Zim did not like the chipper tune he said that in.

"You will not be dying unless it is with my hands." Zim orders, "It is simply all the poison finally leaving your body!"

Dib whines, "I know."

"You are not dying, " Zim assures, but Dib wonders if he was saying it more to himself than the human. Dib sighs, "I know."

Dib lifts his head, ordering, "Touch my face."

Zim obeys as he snaps, "Do not tell Zim what to do!"

Zim squirms on the seat, trying to avoid shifting Dib so his head will be on his lap. The nurse returns with a couple of pills and a bottle of water, informing Dib, "This should help with the fevers and nausea."

"I love you, " Dib gushes, swallowing the pills dry before chugging the water. Zim squints and growls deep in his throat.

"I assume you're talking to the drugs?" The nurse remarks.

Dib lays his head back down, closing his eyes, "That's probably the safer option with him here."

"What's  _ that  _ supposed to mean?" Zim demands. Dib murmurs, "Nothing, space boy, nothing." Zim decides to let it go since it was him that Dib was currently drifting into sleep on top of.

"Need anything else?" The nurse asked. 

Dib dismisses, "No, thank you." Zim notices the nurse seems to be staring at him, and Dib laying on his lap.

She asks overly sweetly, "So how'd you two meet?"

"I moved here in the sixth grade." Zim answers, pleased to have someone asking about him, "And we've been in almost every class together since."

The nurse exhales with a laugh, "Oh, you just have a babyface."

Dib speaks, "Trust me, you're far from the first person to be concerned."

"Well, call me if you need anything, " She smiles, "But not too loudly, Simone over there has got a splitting headache at the moment."

Dib teases, "You hear that, Zim?" Zim flicks Dib's ear, "Be silent, you!"

As the nurse trots off, Dib lifts the tablet. Zim watches as he taps on random things, just to see what it does.

***

Gaz remarks, "You look less like shit than before. Gayer, though." Dib turned around to find he was no longer alone in the jewelry making room. Everyone had left once Dib started twisting copper wires into vaguely monster shapes and spouting off about what he knew each individual cryptid until he was just talking to himself, again.

"Thanks?" Dib cocked an eyebrow, noticing Gaz had shaved half her head, "So do you."

"Damn right I do." She bats her remaining hair with the back of her hand, "I've already gotten three different girl's numbers this week."

Dib rolls his head back, "Ah, so, you're the reason I never got a girlfriend?"

Gaz rolls her eyes, "Don't blame your freakishness and homoerotic aggression for Zim on me."

"There was no-" Dib looks down at the tablet Zim had given him. He had spent every free moment glued to it, reading every bit of information on Irkens he could find, tucking it all away into his photographic memory. He had found some information just by accidentally brushing the screen and opening up a whole different category. He changes the topic, "He gave me this. It's got an unimaginable amount of stuff on aliens."

He opens the 3D model's eyeball and shows her it as the screen spews out paragraph after paragraph on the eyes alone.

Gaz takes it and pokes at it as Dib rambles on about every fact he read about their eyes.

"And their eyes get  _ removed  _ not long after exiting incubation and are modified to be able to see in microscopics and heat-"

"Ah, they don't have junk?" Gaz tilts the screen to Dib. He nods, "Yeah." As soon as Zim turned his back for a couple of minutes, Dib, for science, of course, checked out the exact same thing.

"That sucks for you." She says, "But he does have that long tou-"

"OKAY." Dib rips the tablet back. Gaz wears a shit-eating grin.

Gaz sits in a chair and puts her feet on the table in front of her, sending pliers onto the floor. When she makes no move to pick them up, Dib does. She asks, "Has he been visiting you?"

Dib shrugs, "Every day. Surprised he isn't here right now, honestly."

"I saw him in the parking lot with Gir, " Gaz states, "He was trying to unhinge Gir's jaw from a pothole in the road. Had a crowbar and everything."

Dib hums, "I really want to poke around in Gir's head. I want to find out how something somewhat sentient can be so… not."

Gaz says, "Just poke around in your own head. Same thing."

"DIB-HUSBAND." Speaking of the devil, Zim marched in. Gaz's eyes bulge and turn to Dib, who just shakes his head and mouths  _ later. _

Zim holds one of Gir's hands, and in Gir's other hand was a slab of asphalt. He proudly announces, "His name is Rocky! He likes it when I feed him pebbles!"

"...yes," Zim said slowly, turning away from the little robot, who pulled out a corn dog from God knows where, mashed gravel into it and ate the asphalt instead.

Dib decides to change the subject with, "Anyway… did you know it's not normal to help your parents who work in related jobs to dissect corpses? Let alone at three-years-old?"

Gaz blinked, "Wait-"

"Yeah, the therapist had to stop, put down his notepad, and sit there for a good couple minutes. Apparently, most  _ adults  _ don't ever see the inside of another person."

"Damn, " Gaz says, "You know what, that makes sense. That explains why my kindergarten teacher paid me to stop drawing gore and scaring the other kids."

Zim flicks his wrist, "Zim does not see the issue. My superiors had me ripping out my peer's organs not long after hatching!"

"Checks out," Gaz says with a nod. Dib, also nodding, responds, "I'd believe it."

Dib adds, "Still fucked though, apparently."

"Cheers, bro. I'd drink to that." Gaz picks up a sheet of paper, rolling it into a cone and holds out a pinky.

Dib counters "Not in this house of God, you won't."

"God is dead, " Gaz responds, "I pegged him to death."

Zim asks slowly, "What… is… happening…?"

"Can I peg God, too?" Gir asks.

In unison, Gaz and Dib shout, "No!"


	7. Final Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib gets out of rehab, so Zim gives him a gift. Professor Membrane has a few things to say,

Neither Gaz nor Zim helped Dib lift his bags. Gir proudly held the toiletries, however. As he stepped back out of the rehab center, he sighed heavily. He wasn't sure why he was hoping his father may have been there, waiting outside with a vehicle. Even with the sun setting, he would still be at work for another few hours.

"Smelling your freedom and sobriety?" Gaz teased.

"Smells like gasoline and piss."

"That's what life smells like."

"Is it too late to abort myself?"

"Yes."

"Fuck."

Zim threw his arms in from of Dib's legs, stopping him from walking, and ordering, "Stay here."

Dib shrugged, "Sure, I'll just continue to hold nearly all of my belongings like my arms aren't getting tired. Okay." Gaz flicked Dib's ear, demanding, "Shut it."

Dib shot her a death glare, but his attention is snapped up by the hot pink RV with an irken in a darker pink ring painted on the side stopped in front of them. Dib blinked.

Zim burst through the door and stepped out, chest puffed up and arms behind his back. Dib stared, mouth gaping, brain not able to fill in an explanation of what he was looking at.

When Zim isn't showered in praise and thankfulness, he snapped, "Well?!"

"I- What...am I looking at?"

Zim frowns, "OBVIOUSLY one your planet's recreational vehicles! But improved by the mighty Zim!"

Dib's brain felt it was trying to load a 1040p video on terrible wifi. Zim impatiently stomped his foot and throwing his fists in the air, "PRAISE ZIM FOR SUCH A THOUGHTFUL GIFT!"

"Gif-" Dib blinked, disbelief filling his voice, "Gift? Your- why are you giving me an RV?!"

"FOR YOUR DUMB MONSTER HUNTS. DUH!" Zim was only a few notches down from a full-blown toddler tantrum, " **_This_ ** is the optimum path for your research, according to many sources online!"

Dib opened and shut his mouth repeatedly, sputtering, "This- You-" enragement crossed Zim's face, believing Dib still didn't understand, but Dib melted to his knees and wrapped his arms around Zim's neck, welling up. He cried, "This is the nicest thing anyone has ever or could ever give me."

"Of course, Zim is amazing!" Zim punched the air. Dib sat on his legs, wiped the tears that flowed onto his cheeks, "Yeah. You're amazing." Zim's eyes momentarily bulge and his mouth opened ajar as he stared at dib, before squaring his shoulders and rubbing his nails on his shirt, sniding, "About time you acknowledged it!" Dib rolled his eyes and stood up.

Gaz added, "It's habitable, too. I lived in it for a couple of weeks to make sure. And avoid Dad."

"Oh no, it's gonna smell like Gaz in there…" Dib stage-whispered. Gaz punched his shoulder.

Zim proudly marched into the RV, Gir trotting behind.

Dib grabbed his sleeve, asking Gaz, "So, what do I do now?"

"What do you mean?"

"I dropped out of college. Dad didn't once try to contact me so I doubt I'm allowed home."

Gaz gestured broadly to the RV, "Go with your husband."

Dib squinted at her, "I'm being serious, Gaz."

"So am I." Gaz responded, "The guy just spent the last, how many years, keeping you alive as you drowned yourself in booze? And then goes and gets you something for you to live in? And you're all like 'WhAt dO i dO nOw'?"

Dib glanced back at the mobile home as Gaz continued, "Your not a kid anymore, and I don't know  _ what  _ Zim is, but he's matured, too. So he tried to kill you a few times? I pushed you down Lincoln's monument stairs when we visited as Dad was having a conference with the president and you're still talking to me now."

Dib starts, "It's just…"

"If you say you're hesitating because he's an alien," Gaz said, "I WILL bring up your online history."

Dib scowled at her with a vividly red face. He stomped into the RV, avoiding eye contact. As he slammed the door, Gaz called after him, "I'll drop off the rest of your stuff at Zim's house!"

***

In the excitement of the RV, Dib had planned to drive aimlessly for hours, he didn't have a license, but he's driven an alien spaceship, so how hard could it have possibly been? He was disappointed to find that it was self-driving, or rather, Zim's computer controlled it. Only for a moment, however, because he realized that just meant more time for research. There's no furniture, but there was a driver's and passenger's seat, built-in bed, kitchenette, and a bathroom. Dib was so excited he didn't know what to do with himself. Absolutely buzzing.

"I assume that you are finished being a drunk human and finally ready to acknowledge you're above the rest of these pathetic, dumb fuckwads?" Zim asked. Dib spun to him and blinked.

"Gaz taught me the word," Zim beamed, "Did I use it correctly? Of course I did, I am ZIM!"

Dib fondly shook his head, smirking, "Of course."

Dib kneeled, matching Zim's height, "Humans  _ are  _ stupid. I promise I'll do my best to avoid alcohol from now on."

Zim grinned, "Excellent! Your presence will make Zim's already perfect disguise even more perfect!"

"Heh- is… is that the only reason you kept me alive all these years?" Dib frowned.

Zim turned on his heel, pulling out a remote, and with a click of a button, a large flat screen descended from the ceiling. Dib moves his weight to his behind, watching as Zim shifted the remote into a keyboard and Irken lettering appeared on the screen in front of him. Dib didn't know much of the Irken alphabet, but he swore Zim was typing in gibberish.

"Okay, but, why me?" Dib inquired, "Keef has been at your feet for years. He would have played the dutiful spouse way better than I ever could."

Zim stopped typing and held up his hand, not turning to Dib. "One," He said, holding up a finger, "He is a moron. Zim cares not for rainbows and beach walks and every other mindless drivel he goes on about."

"Two," Zim said, adding another finger, "He seeks constant, unending affection. Zim has no interest in hugs and  _ I love you' _ s. It is pointless human herd behaviour and it's disgusting and inconvenient."

Zim holds up his thumb, "And three, He’s annoying and needs all of Zim's attention, all the time. Zim has very important research and no time to _ Netflix and chill."  _

Zim turned to face Dib, "You are the only human who is intelligent enough, unaffectionate enough, and independent enough,  _ when sober,  _ to be Zim's partner." He nodded like he's made an irrefutable declaration.

_Of course,_ Dib thought, brought his knees to his chest, _It was always for appearances. That actually makes sense._

Zim hesitated, then adds, "Of course, Zim understands that it's in your lowly human instincts to seek out things like  _ 'affection'  _ and  _ 'companionship',  _ and Zim will provide a set amount such necessities to satisfy you."

"How romantic," Dib remarked sarcastically, leaning back against the wall. It was coated in a thick wallpaper. Zim squinted at him, "Consider yourself lucky. Of such an inferior species, you are the least inferior."

Dib looked at him, a numbness sitting in his chest. Dib thought back to everyone he's ever met, and how he was always the butt of the joke, even when he had thought he had made friends in college, he was still their laughing stock, just behind his back this time.

At least Zim was upfront about this arrangement.

Dib rolled his head, resigned himself to the idea that this is the best that love had to offer for him.

"Okay," Dib relented, "As long as you're not trying to destroy the planet, okay."

Zim beamed, patting Dib on his head, "See! You are easily the smartest stink-pig! COMPUTER! SET COURSE FOR HOME!"

"Actually-" Dib cut in, "I've been cooped up in one building for the past couple months, can we just, I don't know, drive around?"

Computer commented, "I've been stuck in the same spot for years, count your blessings. I'm gonna do that though. I want to see an old, falling apart barn."

Gir agreed, "I wanna too!" Zim threw his head back, "Fine! Whatever!"

Gir leaped at the windshield, an orange ooze splatting out of his dog suit and stuck him to the glass. The computer sprayed wiper fluid on the outside the window.

"Damn, it's on the outside." He stated.

Dib peeled Gir off with a disgusting  _ sssssssssssshhhhhlick.  _ Zim cringed at the sound and the Gir-shaped streak on the windshield.

Dib suggested, "why don't you drive to the nearest grocery stores, first. I'll grab some laundry detergent and wash this suit."

"Uuh, yeah." Computer agreed, "That sounds like a good idea."

***

Dib was pleasantly shocked to learn that Zim had hooked the RV up with water. A little less when he computer gave the ownership of that event to Gaz, but it was something that he didn't remove, he supposed. It made washing Gir's dog suit as easy as tossing it in the tiny washing machine the vehicle had.

Dib watched the road as they drove through the countryside side, lost in thought.

He could go back to school, that's what his father would want. The idea tempted him to tell Computer to drive to the nearest liquor store. He wasn't sure what to do now. Go straight to work, he assumed. Work under his father's wing? College was more for appearances anyway, he knew more than the professors. No, that makes him want to tell Computer to drive off the nearest cliff. He'd love to get right into monster hunting but that doesn't exactly pay the bills without a stable following.

So, what now?

As if prompted by his thoughts, Dib's phone rang.

_ I try to call you every day _

_ I'm rehearsing what to say when the truth comes out- _

Dib looked at the caller ID.  _ Dad. _

"Computer, pull over, I need to take this in private," Dib said. With the RV shouldered, Dib stepped outside and answers the phone.

"Hello?"

A wall of expletives burst through the phone. Dib held the phone at arm’s length, still able to hear the string of curses fairly well. Dib hesitantly brought the phone to his ear as the swears turned to loud sentences.

"YOU THINK IT WAS EASY, DON'T YOU? TO GET YOU INTO THAT COLLEGE? BECAUSE IT WASN'T! I HAD TO-"

Dib zoned out. He found himself staring at the sky. He remembered when he was younger and his Dad would take outside of town and they'd stargaze with a telescope. Dib would recite off facts about other galaxies and planets. " _ Sagittarius A is the nearest supermassive black hole to Earth, in the center of the milky way!"  _ He'd say. His father would chuckle, pat his head, and on there are rare occasions, he didn't feel like-

"-A TOTAL DISAPPOINTMENT. THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE!" Membrane spewed at him. Dib licked the front of his teeth, the metal piercing clicking. He breathed in deeply and exhaled shakily.

"WHAT A WASTE OF MONEY AND TIME."

Dib pulled the phone from his ear again, staring down at the screen.

_ Dad. _

Dib looked down the empty road, then back at the screen.

"I PUT  _ EVERYTHING  _ INTO MAKING INTO THE PERFECT SCIENTIST, AND  _ THIS  _ IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?"

Dib's thumb waved over the red symbol.

"WHAT A DISAPPOINT-"

_ Call ended,  _ the screen read. Not good enough. Not good enough.

Dib held down the power button and turned it off, and slipped into his pocket. Not good enough. Not good enough. Not. Good. Enough.

He chucks the phone into the farm field with the force of a childhood of poorly suppressed anger. To his satisfaction, it hit a rock and shattered into bits, just as it started to ring again.

Dib wiped his face, now realizing he had been bawling. And he screamed.

Rage and despair flowing of his body in one long, pained howl, only cut short by his own lung capacity. He stared at the field where the rock destroyed the phone, huffing.

He straightened up, wipes his eyes on his sleeves, and feels a billion times better like he'd tossed the planet of his shoulders that his father placed there.

He strutted back into the RV. Zim stares at him with wide eyes.

"That was scary," Gir commented from behind his hand.

"What was that about?" It was Computer that poked the elephant in the room.

Dib shrugged like he didn't just scream lungs out, but his voice croaked like he did, "My dad called me, but I don't think he'll be calling again anytime soon."

He sat in the driver's seat, hands on the panel, "Let's find an old, broken barn!"

Zim eyed him wearily, antenna twitching.

"You can just discard your master like that?" He asks, with genuine curiosity.

Dib answered, "Zim, this is North America. We're only slaves to capitalism. Nobody has masters." 

Zim spun in the chair, and out the now clean windshield.

"Yes, let's find that useless barn."

***

Zim remarked, "The stars on this planet suck." He takes a large swig of his hot chocolate that Dib had gotten him and Gir, and adds, "This heated choco drink is satisfactory, however."

Dib smiled into his cup of black coffee, "Thought you may like it."

He had been wise to transfer his saved allowance into a separate account before going into rehab, his father had already cancelled his account. At least he had enough squirrelled away that if he wasn't able to get a job, he would still be fine for several months. Still, starting tomorrow, his top priority is getting a job, any job.

He breathed. It felt easier to, now, like he'd been holding his breath all his life.

They sat on the roof of the RV, sipping in their respective drinks and stargazing. Dib gets an idea, and his face reddens at the thought.

Dib pushed himself to Zim, avoiding eye contact. Zim looks to him, asking, "what are you doing?"

Dib silently held his hand out, hoping Zim clues and acknowledges it as a "necessary physical contact". He stared at Dib's hand briefly, before placing his own in Dib's palm. Dib gives a small smile.  _ So far so good! _

He wasn't sure how long before Zim decided that he had given enough physical contact, so Dib decides it's better to act fast. With his free hand, he cupped Zim's cheek, turning his head towards him, planting a chaste kiss on Zim's closed mouth.

Once the situation sunk in, Zim shoved Dib away with a disgusted, "UUGH!" Dib's coffee gets caught on his flailing arms and goes flying, landing on the road and spilling everywhere.

Dib leaned over the securing bars, away from Zim, pouting.

_ Of course,  _ He thought,  _ Why would he want to kiss you? Why would anyone want to- _

Zim nuzzled his face into Dib's shoulder, muttering into his sweater, "Shave your scratchy monkey hair before you do that again." Referencing Dib's goatee. Zim laid his head on his arm, hugging it. Dib doesn't immediately respond.

Zim's claws dug into his sleeve, not maliciously. Desperate.

Dib finally answered, "Wish you had mentioned that earlier when I was at the store and could have gotten razors then. Zim  _ hmps,  _ still gently and slowly rubbing his face against Dib.

Gir wedged himself between Zim and Dib's back, resting his chin on Dib's hip and resuming his chocolate.

Dib returned to gazing at the skyline.

"Hey, look, an old barn!" He pointed.


	8. Bow Chika Wow Wow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib smells good. really good.

"Just let me have a quick look at him," Dib begged. Zim smacks the flat head screwdriver driver out of Dib's hand. It landed on the floor and rolled away, but the noise didn't stir the sleeping robot on the couch. The few random pieces of furniture came from a thrift shop, but Zim and his germaphobia didn't need to know that.

"I agreed to go with you on this wild monster chase during your days off," He comments, "Don't touch Gir."

Dib had tossed out hundreds of resumes and had only got one answer back. Bloaty's Pizzaria. At least the manager was half decent.

Dib sighed and threw his arms up, "I'm just saying, I could make him way easier to live with."

"I have already attempted to raise his intelligence, it only made him worse!" Zim retorts.

Dib commented, "Zim, you spent years just keeping me alive. You should know by now that intelligence and functionality aren't the same thing."

"No." Zim reiterated. Dib huffed.

"I'm going to bed," He pouted. He kicked off his pants and as he climbed into bed, Zim reminded him, "Your flab flattener." Dib sighed, but worked out of his chest binder without removing his shirt and pulling over his before replacing his arms in his sleeves, tossing it with the discarded pants.

Zim hissed, "Clean up after yourself!" Dib ignored him, closing the new but used curtain that separated the bed from the rest of the single room. Zim stomped, but when Dib didn't come out, he grunted, picked up Dib's clothes and the screwdriver. He tossed the clothes in the washing machine, but held onto the screwdriver, pulling out a metal ball similar to a party ball, but when he pried it in half, it was a mess of wires and circuit boards. He sat on the couch next to Gir, pushed a button on the bottom of the screwdriver several times, rotating it through several different tools before landing on a soddering tool.

"Zim was at a 78% chance of reaching communication with the tallest last time, correct?"

"About that, yeah." Computer agrees.

"Not good enough." Zim states. He bites into a wire, the electrical current going through his body, and severing it. He pulls a few other wires out of the way and starts zapping the machine.

He wasn't working long before a scent, familiar but somehow better than anything he's smelled hits his antennas. They twitch with an overwhelming need to find the source, to get closer to it.

He puts the communication device aside and stands up, turning to the curtain hiding Dib, finding the _heavenly_ scent was strongest in that direction. It was _like_ the stink that almost every human teenager gave off, especially at those parties Dib would run to for free booze, but the smell wasn't just good in this case, it was… addicting.

Zim pulled back the curtain, and he peered at Dib with wide eyes.

_[ **continue reading here if 18** ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26665882) _ **Otherwise,** **here's the ending:**

When Zim was sure that Dib was fast asleep, he carefully pried himself from his arms. He slid off the bed and looked down at himself. The sight was the one he had always known. Green, bare, and flat, as if what had just happened, didn't. Zim looked back at the slumbering human.

__

It very much happened.

__

Zim picked up the communication device Zim had left on the couch.

__

He asks again, "Zim was at a 78%, yes?"

__

"Yeah." The computer repeated.

__

Zim grabbed a handful of wires and ripped them out. He asks, "What about now?"

__

"You'd be lucky if it turns on."

__

Zim nods, drops the wires on top of the rest, closes the device and puts it aside.


End file.
